SCU
by Nezumi Hakkai
Summary: Join the Sanzo Crack Union free sample with every new membership to the S.C.U. A Crack fic of sheer ...well crack.


Disclaimer: Saiyuki not mine but the Crack Smoking Empire is!

Beta Read by: Gaurdian Rowen

The Sanzo Crack Union 

This is the story of Koumyou Sanzo and what really went down. Lot a people in the backstreets refered to Komuyou as the crack smokin Sanzo.And it true he did sample some of his own shit but man that was just to make sure it was up ta grade. We never called him Koumyou, it wuz too hard for sum of the boys ta remember He had this guy think his name was Ichi, or Ni or somethin like that. Anyway this guy was the one he had cookin the stuff up, see they was buddies from way back, When they got drunk Ni'd put on Koumyous clothes and prance around and Koumyou, well he didn't see no need for no clothes 'slong as the stuff and the beer held out. man those partys were the shiznit. Anyway all that changed when Koumyou picked up this kid down near the bridge. He was out takin a peek at his terriotory makin sure all wuz how it should be, when he heard this thing squallin'. Seems some whore dumped a baby off the bridge to get rid of it and the little bastard didn't die.

Well K-Sanzo was like a kid with a new toy, he began payin more attention to the brat an less to the buisness and that didn't sit well with alotta folk. Not that it mattered much to him he had tons of cash lyn' around. But other people that relied on him were gettin kinda twitchy. Finally even Ni couldn't stand it. K had stopped have'n' parties and started makin' paper airplanes. His favorite thing to do when he got high wuz make those damn airplanes, every one of the bright orange too. Poor kid followed him around just like a puppy , shoulda see him watch K fly those planes and try ta figure out what was so special about orange airplanes. Coulda told the kid it wasn't the planes, it was what ya smoked before the planes.

Anyway Ni had, had it and was plannin on takin' his kitchen and goin'. But there was one problem. K and Ni had figured out just the right way to cook up some really good shit, and had it writtin' down in code on these long sheets of paper, some of them had been lost, some other punks had come in...but that's a different story then what I'm tellin'. The point is they still had two of the recipes but K always carried them with him drapped over his shoulders. I remember the kid askin' about them once, K told him the were prayers or sumthin' like that an' the kid ate it up. K could have told him that the sky was really the ground and that kid woulda bought it. Not sayin' the kid was stupid or anythin' like that. I seen that skinny little brat take down grown men and out smart some of 'em too. You didn't play poker with that kid unless you was perpared to loose.

Ni had got himself hooked up with this ugly bitch that had slept her way to the top of really big family. She bumped off the guys wife or sumthin' and before you knew it the big man didn't show himself any more either. Some say she did away with him too, others think he just got tired 'a lookin' at her and took a long vacation to get away from the bitch.

After Ni told her about the recipes and gave her a sample, she could wait to stick her nose in. One night she sent a bunch of her toughest punks, an' I'm not takin' four or five guys either. K's boys never stood a chance, they beat down everybody they came across till they got to K's room. They cut him down too, right in front of the kid. The cops showed up in the mornin' when they was sure the danger was gone. Found the kid just sittin' there covered in K's blood. The took him in and cleaned him up. some idiot tried to say the boy kill K himself and that was how he got bloodied up. Actually K had sheilded the kid and that was the only reason he wasn't dead too. Finally they let the kid go. I don't think he ever got over K's death. K was the only person in this world that gave a damn about him.

Ni and his bitch only got one of the recipies, somehow the kid ended up with the other. That's when he changed his name to Genjo, didn't make no difference to us, we just called him G. or boss.

When K died a lot of power shifted and most of it went to Ni and his bitch but there were still some of us left that decided to gamble on the kid. He's doin' alright too. Got himself three boys that are always there for protection or anything else he might need. The first one is this scruffy little brat that picked his pocket. G tracked the kid down to where he lived under this pile of rubble in a comdemed building. Had it build up like a cave. G was goin' beat the kid senseless but instead he ended up takin' him home and feeding him. Little monkey's been here ever since. He follows G around lookin' just like another little brat I remember.

The kid can fight good too, guess he's been doin' it his whole life. Toughest kid I've ever seen.

The second guy dresses nice and is always real polite. He's the one that scares me the most. He smiles too much and that makes me nervous. But I'd rather have him smilin' than not. I saw what he did to this one guy when he wasn't smilin'. I still have nightmares about that sometimes. He always has this freakin' white ferret draped around his neck too, always starein' at you with its little red eyes.

The last guy is alright, he can fight when he wants to, but he's easy to get along with. He's always got a girl or two under his arms whenever he can get away with it. Him and G don't get along too well,the boss doesn't think he takes things serious enough. I guess he got brought in because he's best buddies with the smilin' ferret man. Lately they've been plannin' somethin'. I think they might be gettin' ready to get K's old stuff back. Good luck to 'em. Hope they give Ni and that Bitch hell.


End file.
